When you have purpose, and know it, you can climb mountains… no, you can move them.
Growing up for me was interesting. My Dad and Mom had three girls and one boy, with me being the last child. My mom ran an in home 24/7 daycare. Needless to say, I feel like I got lost in the shuffle of day to day life. My mom, who is amazing beyond words, had a lot on her plate. Twelve kids plus her four to care for at any given moment of the day.
She tended to us and gave us her all. I really look up to her for this. Some days, moms would drop off their kids professing they only needed to be alone for a couple hours to get some personal time. It would be days, sometimes weeks, and on rare occasions, months before their moms would come back. My mom loved them fiercely, she guided them. she would correct where she saw fit and showed them a schedule in otherwise schedule-less environment they had at home. at night, when they’d cry for their moms, she’d listen and comfort and reassure them that they were looked after and their mom would be back shortly. My Dad would also seek to create an environment of security. He would assume the role as “Dad” to all the kids and play at their level. We would create a make shift family and it was beautiful. I was always in a state of awe for my parents ability to take care of the ones around them that needed it most. To shelter and protect the most precious of beings.
Ive had years to think about their role with the kids I grew up alongside. I haven’t always felt this way about the way I grew up, but life has made me come to realize that what I thought was taken from me was in fact added unto me.
I had this sense of them withholding love from me. I felt they didn’t value me like they did those kids who came to get filled in a way they weren’t getting filled at home. From this place of hurt I reacted a lot to them. I withdrew and thus was thrown into my own journey of self-discovery.
Ive spent a lot of time playing the victim, its a very comfortable place for me. Im starting to realize that maybe the hardship is the purpose. This place of “victim” I’ve set up is misguided. yes, its all I use to know, but as I’m stating to come into my own, I’m seeing hope and fulfillment in the lives of others. I’m drawn to this magic in others.
My parents paved the way for me. Im sure they felt like they were in over their heads at times, but they didn’t shy away from the obstacle that was laid before them. They had a passion for kids and they found purpose in that passion.
That seed of watching them sacrifice for the ones who needed it most was planted deep within me. I’ve thought, meditated, and longed to help people the way my parents have shown me. I’m starting to believe that this is the starting journey to my path of purpose. I have an inclination that purpose is the way for me to be fully be healed and I don’t think I’m alone.
The reason for which I was created and for which I exist.
My name is Lashawna Romano and I will fight to bring forth purpose in people’s lives.